Tag Archives: Love

7 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

I think that the following article is useful for everyone, not just those with mental health issues or chronic illness afflictions. Sometimes we are much too hard on ourselves and need to sit back and take a break. This is a short and important read!

“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene - 7 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Photo by: KelseyyBarbara

“We can’t hate ourselves into a version of ourselves we can love.” ~Lori Deschene

Sometimes I am really terrible to myself and relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or loveable I am.

On an almost daily basis, I meticulously look for evidence that I am a nobody, that I don’t deserve to be loved, or that I’m not living up to my full potential.

There is generally a lot of pressure to “stack up” in our culture. We feel as if there is something wrong with us if, for example, we’re still single by a certain age, don’t make a certain amount of income, don’t have a large social circle, or don’t look and act a certain way in the presence of others. The list could truly go on forever.

Sometimes in the midst of all the pressure, I seem to totally forget all the wonderful, unique things about myself.

I get stuck in my head and allow my inner critic to completely tear apart my self-esteem until I hate myself too much to do anything except eat ice cream, watch daytime television, and sleep.

The other day, while I was beating myself up over something I can’t even recall at the moment, I read a comment from one of my blog readers telling me that one of my posts literally got them through the night. Literally. And if that one simple word was used in the intended context, this person was basically telling me that one of my posts saved their life.

I get comments like these on a pretty regular basis, and they always open my eyes to just how much I matter, regardless of my inner critic’s vehement objections.

Such comments also open my eyes to all the things we beat ourselves up over that don’t matter—like whether or not we look like a Victoria’s Secret model in our bathing suit, or whether or not we should stop smiling if we’re not whitening our teeth, or whether or not the hole in our lucky shirt is worth bursting into tears over.

Lately I’ve been trying harder to catch myself when I feel a non-serving, self-depreciating thought coming on. And I may let these thoughts slip at times, but that’s okay because I’m only human.

While my self-love journey is on-going, here are a few things I try to remember when I’m tempted to be mean to myself:


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Pain allows us to see life’s true beauty.

Pain can manifest itself in many forms. The most common in my opinion is physical since it’s the one that is most hindering in our daily activities. Many of use can mask the emotional and psychological well enough to carry on with our lives without notice from friends and family. However, it’s the physical pain that others can see and that we can always feel. What’s worse is that the physical pain leaves physical scars; an ever-present reminder of the past. However, without pain (in all of it’s forms) we would not have a basis of comparison for the beauty in life. Those of us that have experienced pain can not only relate to others that have experienced the same, but can also see beauty in everyday things that others would miss. We are also more thankful for life. It isn’t until you are near death that you can really appreciate the coming days, even the bad ones. You know what gets me out of bed in the morning? The pervasive thought that I can find the beauty in the day. That no matter how the day goes I can take one moment to see the positive. To have one instance in which I can make the life of someone else a little better. See, those of us with pain can appreciate that sort of kindness. Sometimes we wish that others will give us the figurative time of day. Why not dispose of this same kindness onto other people? That is one of my goals in this life and hopefully one of yours as well. To quote my favorite author Emily Dickinson:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

I hope that you will join me on this journey to find the beauty and usefulness that all of us possess in life. I make it my goal to share the experiences of myself and others throughout these writings. If you have a story to share, please send it to me so that we can together share it with the world. Let us grow in one another and set the example that the world needs right now.

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Posted by on March 12, 2011 in Hope


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