Pain With Love < Pain w/o Love

27 Sep

I sat in bed last night wondering how miserable my life would be without my wonderful wife. I kept the magnitude of my pain from her for so long to appear stronger than I was. I was the type of person that made excuses for not doing things that would put me in pain without any explanation to her. She still stayed with me through it all. It took 7 years of marriage to finally fess up wondering how the news would be received. I learned that something like love can outweigh something as silly as chronic pain. She listened, and tried to understand. It became apparent that even though someone isn’t going through the same problems you are, that they can still show empathy toward it. I can definitely imagine a more difficult life without a companion that shows unconditional love. I probably should have come clean earlier, but my most wonderful wife understood my reasons. It has made my days more bearable knowing that I can freely talk to someone without judgement. I guess the moral of this story is that we shouldn’t be afraid to reach out to our companions when we are hurting in any capacity. I definitely feel less pain when around her. As I stated previously. I don’t know what life would be like without her.


Posted by on September 27, 2011 in Emotional, Hope, Pain - Physical, Pain - Psychological


2 responses to “Pain With Love < Pain w/o Love

  1. Erinn

    September 27, 2011 at 14:48

    I think it is so wonderful that you have someone who you can talk too. Not to have to sweep it under the rug and pretend you can do anything. I really think my toughest critics are my family. I have an older brother that doesn’t talk to me ever and called me lazy the last time I talk to him. No matter how many different ways really only person who can understand CP. is because she has it and some symtoms that are from fibro she just doesn’t understand her fibro. I don’t know how much pain she is in because she hurts somewhere else it hard to concentrate on the fibro too. I give advise. I feel like I have sucked everything about fibro that the doctors don’t even know as much as me well at least does not. I need a specialist but what the heal could dong it right. I tried doing a game I got from the site you don’t look sick? It was that she took about twelve spoons, but I figure you can do it with just about anything. You ask the person to go through their daily things. I held the spoons and my middle brother was not really care actually he really seemed miff. he said I wake up. I told him to take a spoon. He wanted to know why and I just said take the spoon. he said take a shower. I said did you wash your hair? yes to that so remove another spoon, Washing is a spoons. Well with women shaving your legs is a sturggle and my hair is so long I plan on getting cut off. I am growing it for locks of love first. Well we got down to know spoons. I said well there are no more spoons so what are you going to do. He thought the whole thing was stupid and he got grumpy and said to buy more spoons. I said I can’t, I can use spoons that were for tomorrow but that would cause me to have a flare up and be in bad shape. He just said I get it I get it.I have chronic fatigure also, my hurt my knee, I feel on my knee camp and Ihave some nerve damage. I have IBS, interstial cystits, I can’t spell anything, I have memory problems and big spelling problems. My eldest brother asked my middle brother to come visit and he annonced it when everyone was there at dinner except my brother Steve. We all were really upset. He has never invited and one to his house. I haven’t seem where he lived since I was 17 and he has had several houses and movied to back to Ny state. He never calls and never says Happy Birthday. i think the only reason I get Christams Cards is because my sister in law is sweet. I think our family were so disfunctional that he could deal with. Things have changed with my parents. They still bicker and they decided to stay together. My father has done a 180 degrees. He still has his problems but he isn’t that bad. I am going to my youngest brother’s home. He is three years older than me and was pretty muvh given a death sentence when he was born with three bad heart defect. No it would be him that got all the tension. the last year or so that i have gotten along with him. He is ill and he stil works and he gets so tierd. he has a pacemaker. I wish some how my sibling would be helpful. that all scattered after hells cold water. I have a sister how works so much she can’t take anytime. I really need to get a real job, I am lazy and you must like sitting home relaxing everday and being a couch potato. Go back to school. I would go oneline school but I don’t know what I want to do and I am beating my hands writing this. No one do I believe when that I would love to have a job, My dad went to telling me to get ajob for ten years to get a hobby. I really can’t get anyhing. I should have known that they wouldn’t believe me and telling me I didn’t work enough to be them saying , you are taking all there Social security mom. My sister came over on my b day for an hour or so. my neice and nephew came to eat cake. I would love to tell my siblings know but their is nothing that gets through there thiick head. They have broken bones or surgeries but having so much feeling stranded with no one to help me me go out there and help by teaching me. They simply have shut me out of their lives says they need to work, they are too busy. It only takes a few minute to call or even email me a message to say I love you. right now I have a friend, put I see her more on official instead of being my add. She has to work all the time cause she is has four daughters and her husband is waiting. My sister too. Her husband is lazy so she works night shifts and sometimes does doubles. She get so toerd because she isn’t sleep at night. They can’t even save enough to get a used car so her husband could do chauffering. My develpmental disabled neice is depressed. She can’t even find a youth group or anything.. She didn’t recieve her regents diploma and she loves to draw. She paints, and she is depressed because she can’t get a job in rochester because of no diploma. I don’t think it is fair. She has never been on disables and there are pro and cons to obtaining a SocialSecurity. It hard to get out . I don’t think you have to have a diploma’ for an art class.but I really beliee she works so hard at work and then comes to her I wish I could simply take walks, not being in pain. I wish just for once I cold run to the fence and pop over them into the neighbors yard and climb up the cherry tree. Play in dirt all day. never waste anew by. taking one day as if it was my last and not be afraid I did the wrong thing. Oh Lord I am babling. I just needed to write it.

    • doesithurt

      September 27, 2011 at 14:58

      Thanks so much for sharing! A site that I found good for venting and support is They have support groups for just about anything and the people there can relate to what we go through. I suggest that you check it out, especially since it’s free! Keep hope!


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